The night before the race I was tired and behind schedule, I had so many things to do and it was 9pm. My plan was to be in bed by this time but I still needed to pack for the race, get my son and husbands things together for the Birthday party they were attending the next day and get the bike ready. I had intended to ride the motorcycle the 45 mile trip to the race start location.
I didn't know what to expect having never run this race before so I wanted to arrive early to pick up my number and race packet. Living in a rural area riding the bike when it is dark can be a little dangerous. Running over an animal is one thing, but running over an animal on a motorcycle can take you both out. If I was taking the bike I needed to leave an extra 15 minute earlier so 5:00am was going to come very early.
As I sat at the table a little overwhelmed with the next 24hours I asked myself again, Why am I doing this? I became more and more upset, my husband and son tried to calm me down and help me get a few things done. I started to express my concerns. What if I came in last? I could be making a complete fool of myself. Once again out of the amazing wisdom of a 5 year old everything became clearer. He very calmly and in a very mature,helpful and loving tone said " Mom, run, do your best and if you come in last don't cry you tried your best. I realized he was right, all I could do is my best and that would have to be good enough. He was so caring it made me cry(again). It is these times you realize what kind of parent you are. It is a little weird to hear the words you have spoken so many times to him come back to you. Apparently he is listing. With a better grip on the race I went about my chores and climbed into my dog spotted bed about 11pm. I thought I had just fallen asleep when the beeping of the alarm clock filled the dark silent room. Why am I doing this?