Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Graduate

When I first saw him I wasn't sure what to do with him
On his 1st Birthday I was tired and still overwhelmed
On his 2nd Birthday I was starting to see the light (and sleep through some nights)
On his 3rd Birthday he was growing on me (in so many ways)
On his 4th Birthday I realized I love his little personality
On his 5th Birthday I was amazed we had all made it this far still together.

And as I stood and watched him on his first Graduation Day (from Pre - K)
I still feel ...... What do I do with him from here, overwhelmed, can see the light,still growing on me, I love his always changing personality and amazed we have all made it this far still together.

My little man growing up so fast
When he was an infant people said isn't it fun to watch them sleep. I did not find that appealing at the time. People said isn't it fun to have an infant to play with, I did not find that appealing at the time the maternal instinct was slow in coming and I was very slow to appreciate it. It was survival mode.

Working with infants now I better understand the watching them sleep factor. I am sure it is what a Grand parent feels. Not sleep deprived, spend a fun day with the kids and then send them home with their parents. It gives you the time to enjoy them.

But today, on Graduation day I feel an emotion I did not expect. I like my time away and I like my time with my family. I thought as he became more independent I would feel a sense of freedom. I always believed God gave him to me to raise but he is a child of God and he will have his own life. I always believed when it was his time to be independent, I would be open and ready for it.

I AM NOT READY!!!!!!
I am not sure he is ready. We have two months to prepare for Kindergarten. For the first time in years He will not be in the same school as I am. He will have to ride a public school bus, and even worse he has to ride a school bus with children twice his size and age. For the first time as I look at my growing child I miss him and don't want him to grow up. I will cry quite a few tears over the next few weeks and I will be the stereo typical sobbing mom on the first day of school come August.

coming soon
Graduation day fun.

3 comments:

Jenks said...

They grow up so quick. You have a wonderful little man, for his age he has a great sense of whats wrong and right. He will test his limits, they all do. And you will cry the first day you have to put him on that bus, and the night before and maybe even the whole first week if not month. It will be a growing experience for the both of you, but you'll both get through it just fine. If you need a box of klennex or a friend, just let me know.

SonjaB said...

Give B-man a congrats hug for me. He may be a little more independent, but he will always need his mommy (whether he knows it or not)

Wendy said...

Thanks Ladies!
Your words provide a warm moment for this panic striken mom