Thursday, May 29, 2008

A new charity

Yes I feel the need to start a new charity!

The name will be A.S.S.
Assisting Suicidal Squirrels.
I know this is disturbing, I was very disturbed when I saw this phenomenon starting.
It all came to light for me when driving to work a few weeks ago.
I drive the same street every day, it is only a little over a mile to get from my front door to the front door of my school. In this short distance I saw a dead squirrel in the road. O.K. not that big a deal the neighborhood is very small with a lot of trees and houses with big yards. Squirrels are bountiful and occasionally their could be an unfortunate accident. A misstep on the phone wire causing the little fluff ball to fall to an untimely death, or having a moment of indecision to which side of the road to go to. Left no Right, at the same time the driver of the car is having the same conversation in his head and unfortunately....squish! I know these things happen, but a few days later further down the road another dead squirrel.

wait ... it does not end their
It happened again a few days later in another location.
Three in a week. I ask you what are the chances?

The next week I was concerned. I was driving to work when TWO squirrels ran directly in front of me in the middle of the road and stopped. It was as if they wanted me to do them in. They practically laided under my tires. I screeched to a stop refusing to be a part of this sick, sad trend. I waited and they both went to the side of the road. I am sure they were waiting for another less observant driver to jump out in front of.

In the past few weeks I have seen the sad little bodies of about 8 Squirrels in between home and work! It's just Nuts...! This has got to stop!!

This is why I would like to start this new 501(c) to help the Squirrels who may need help and to also support the families of the ones we could not save.

I will have the meetings in the parking lot of our local grocery store. I went to the store yesterday morning about 7am. When I left the nearly empty parking lot I noticed about (no exaggeration) 15 squirrels running here running there, up trees, down trees, across the parking lot and yes in front of my truck. So this will be a good starting place for my non-profit to get a start.

I have to find out what is the source of their stress, what is going on in the squirrels world. It can't be the threat of recession or high gas prices they don't have or need money. It can't be fear of a harsh winter, first, it is summer and second we live in Florida it never gets that harsh. It can't be lose of housing because new construction has virtually halted in are area, so no worries about bull dozers coming in and taking down a host of trees. What could be bugging them.

Maybe the other creatures have turned against them. But Why?
You can see why funding is necessary, first to do the research to find out the answers and then to get a plan on how to help. I need a step program, maybe not 12 steps because squirrels are fliberty gibbets, you know kind of A.D.D or even O.C.D, but definitely would not be able to stand still long enough to learn 12 steps. Probably 5 would be plenty.

If you would like to become an A.S.S with me please let me know your thoughts on how to move forward on this project. Lets join together and stop this increasingly desperate situation....


Dave said...

I think it is a direct and unfortunate result of the commercials with the little animals playing chicken with the cars (squirrels or chipmunks, I can't remember; but, the point is the same). Your squirrels saw the commercials it is clear. They're tragically mimicking the actors, darting back and forth, resulting in the evidence you chronicle, not realizing that the commercials were filmed on a closed course with stunt squirrels/chipmunks.

The first goal of your new group needs to be a series of PSA's to be broadcast on tiny TV's where squirrels congregate. You might be able to get the Aflac duck or the GEICO gekko to work for free and explain the realities of their dangerous behavior.

Wendy said...

Oh my gosh...Thats it. It goes to show you T.V is the culprit. If it is doing this to our furry friends can you imagine what it is doing to our kids(violence and all)

And the PSA's are awsome, I use to work for Geico, I may still have an in with the advertising department.

I am going to call my local T.V. station and start a protest to those types of commercials or at least ask for a disclaimer on the bottom, may your legal expertise could help with a petition for this.
Dave you have been a great inspiration and visionary for this charity. You may have erned yourself a spot on the A.S.S board of directors. Not that is a resume' builder.

SonjaB said...

fliberty gibbets? That's a new one.

We have the same problem here in our neighborhood, although they seem less likely to have a suicidal wish, but more like to play chicken.

Should it bother me the gibbets does not show up as a spell check need?

Sonja's Mom said...

Oh My God! Maybe that's what has happened to my squirrels. I haven't seen a squirrel in my backyard in over a week. I'll bet that's what happened.

Or maybe I just forgot to feed them.

Wendy said...

Hum, not sure, but you must be proactive. Try feeding them and if they do not return you may need an intervention. Maybe ask around and see if you squirrels have moved to my neigborhood. They may have heard of ASS and are hoping for a rehab opening soon.

I hope you see them soon, not white furry side up.

Jenks said...

Everytime I see a squirrel now I will think of what a good job your A.S.S foundation is doing.